It’s been quite a long time since I’ve written something here. Classes have started and I’m back to writing countless reports, and memorizing crap loads of formulas. I swear, the past days, my journal is full of complaints about how they try to teach students at school is counterproductive. I hate complaining, but sometimes it can’t be helped, I mean, there was one time, I’m complaining to my self that I’m complaining. Grr.
Anyway, what’s new?
Just a few days ago, I applied as a writer for our University’s official publication. On one part of the interview, I was asked: “What is your favorite book?”
I’ve never thought about a favorite book. Honestly, I think all books I liked are my favorite. What surprised me was when I answered “The Game by Neil Strauss”, a book I found after falling into the depths of friend zone.
Haha “Funny how sometimes you, just… find things.” -Tracy, HIMYM
Indeed this book has saved me from becoming the virgin guy who lives in the basement, but took away things from me. It taught me how to see women as targets; deceive women to get what I want; overthink social situations;judge through generalizations; and forget the one thing that is really important in a relationship.
I hated this book.
But thinking deeper into it, I knew there was a reason why I said it’s my favorite book. Sudden answers I don’t actively think about are usually, the most honest answers I can give.
So yes, it’s my favorite book.
Despite the book turning me into a social robot, and a heartless predator for a while, it taught me lessons I’ll be forever grateful for.
“Hey I like your face.”
“Hello , do you have time to talk about Jesus Christ? …Just kidding. I’m Jeff”
“Hi, I’m doing a survey for English 7. Do you believe in true love?”
These were some lines I used to spark up conversations.
I was a god of shyness. I’d never do anything that could cause people discomfort or create awkward moments. Yet after reading this book, I found the excitement in what they do. Approach a random stranger you’re attracted to, and get to know her. It sounds a lot easier when you say it, “approaching a stranger.” But when you’re a few steps away, life become a battle of guts and anxiety.
This book has taught me:
To get out of my comfort zone, and do things I’m afraid to. Pushing my self through things that had made my heart beat twice faster has rewired something in my brain. When I walk up to a stranger, with the plan of saying something weird, my brain would generate all these expectations of what could happen. Will I get slapped, be ignored, or perhaps wake up the next day labeled as a creep?
When I got past something of such weight;when despite all the fear tugging me down, and the anxiety burning my courage up; The moment I luckily survived that first step. I found the meaning of boldness.
And the funny thing is, this wasn’t just about approaching strangers. The moment you learn how to walk at home, you also learn it anywhere.
To deal with fear.
Of course each approaches wasn’t just due to pure stroke of luck and burst of adrenaline. Little by little, I realized how fear is just a trivial matter compared to the satisfaction I get when I win over it. Every time I did something I never thought I could – It taught me to ask: “What could stop from doing those other things I feared?”
To deal with failure.
Yeah, I would have grown to be the guy who keeps whining about things I couldn’t do. Or a weak young adult who easily gets demotivated by mistakes. Yet here I am commending the book that made a year of my life insanely complicated. Because every awkward moments, kind no’s, or brutal rejections; Either I saw openings for improvement, or learned to accept that some things are as they are.
And a lot more. Some, I’d write on other articles, and some, I might not have consciously realized. Anyway, that’s it for now. Time to go waste some ink, and coupon bonds to copy, and hand-write researches. My professors seem to hate printers. Gahd! This education system. **Typed some more sentences here, but removed it because I realized it should be on a separate article.**
So, if anyone randomly stumbles upon this article. I hope you realize how those things you may have regretted, or hated have actually given you something else a lot more special. Cliche but ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Of course except bears, bears will kill you.